A 14 Year Old's Experience Learning Manners and Etiquette

From Guest Blogger 14 year old Corey Peterson in New Zealand

I thought learning etiquette would be a piece of cake.  I thought I would be able to pick them up, no sweat. But then when I started, it was completely different to what I had expected! There are so many utensils, manners, rules and proper ways of doing every day things.

 One of the hardest for me is sitting up straight. I tend to slouch, because I forget to sit up or I am sitting up and it becomes painful. I know if I keep slouching, it won’t be good for my back, so I am trying a thousand times harder to break the habit and correct my bad posture. I tend to walk with quite a straight back, so that bit is not as hard. I have been asked a few times in class why I am sitting like "a formal idiot" and I always tell them that I am trying to be a gentleman, as I don’t want to be a boy my whole life! Other teens these days can be pretty cruel, but I am not letting that stop me. I believe that etiquette will help me to be well-mannered in life.

A grouping of Maura Graber's 'knorks', antique and modern, from left to right- A pie fork, a cake or pastry fork, a modern 'one-handed eating tool' with the reverse side showing above it, a pickle fork and a modern cheese or fruit 'knork'.

What particularly interests me, is formal and informal gatherings, like teas (though they are mainly for women, I still have an interest) and formal dinners. I am intrigued by all the utensils, table manners, rules etc...  I love the historic side of it more than anything.  (One reason that I became such a fan of Downton Abbey).  If you had asked me what it was that Maura Graber calls a 'knork' last month, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. Now, I know that a 'knork' is any fork and knife combination utensil, all in one.  They are normally used to eat cake or pie.  A 'knork' was also was used from 1797 on, by Horatio Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson after he was attacked fighting in the Napoleonic Wars, resulting in the loss of his right arm.

In 1793, Nelson was given command of the British naval ship, Agamemnon.  He served in the Mediterranean, helped capture Corsica and saw battle at Calvi. He lost his right arm at the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife in 1797. He subsequently used, what came to be known as, a 'Nelson Fork' as shown below.

A Nelson Fork

 I would like to thank Maura for helping me start my dining history business, "The What’lery of Cutlery", and for everything she has done to help me! I have learnt many things from our Skype calls as well as her well written book.  I learn something new every day from Maura, from how to find historical newspaper articles, to how to get more precise matches on Google, and of course, dining history! I love public speaking, meeting people and showing people things.  I now have an advantage, as what I am doing is unique here in New Zealand, so I have my own niche market. As Maura has told me, "People become more interested when you mention the history of the utensil." I hope to use this to aid me in my goals. 

I was talking to a relief teacher the other day and he asked me why all my work in this class [digital media, which involves work on the computer with colour, patterns, layouts etc] looked formal, or very elegant. I told him I have a love for the ways of the old and that the colours work excellently together, better than those of newer, modern colours.  As he was going through my folder, he came across the business cards I have been working all so very hard on.  He asked me what I meant by "utensils and dining history" on the cards. I explained that I am learning from a very knowledgeable lady about flatware, their uses, and the history behind them of how people once dined.  He asked me to tell him about an unusual utensil, so I told him about the Dutch mango fork. 

Mangoes are the 'most eaten' fruit worldwide, with over 2,000 varieties. Above- A selection of mango forks, from left to right- Dutch-made fork, French-made fork, 2nd Dutch-made fork, Mexican-made fork, British-made fork & 3rd Dutch-made fork.  All for holding a mango steady, to cut into with a fruit knife or fruit spoon.

I explained the forks appearance, with one long prong in the center and two shorter ones on the outside. I explained that you can push the longer prong through the pip, and then the shorter prongs hold the mango in place, enabling you to cut the mango to eat.  He was fascinated and he said that with my determination, I could change the world.  I have told a few other people about what I am learning too, and most have been interested. A very small minority though have told me that I am ‘boring’ and too much of a ‘traditionalist’. 

Some have said it is great I'm teaching the new generation the use of utensils, others have said that it is a waste of time as no one has any use for these utensils. I tell them that knowing about the utensils doesn’t mean you have to use them, but it does teach someone something. The fact that most people are interested though, means people do want to know the history behind forks and how they came to be used for everything people eat around the world.  

One-Armed Men, Knorks, the Civil War and Buried Folding Treasues

A military spoon, a long silver plate spoon and a matching long spoon which was buried for over a hundred years.

    June 2011 is taking its last breath, so I thought I should get this post up while I still have the time. 

   While June is traditionally the month to celebrate fathers, step-fathers, our grandfathers and those men in our lives who have made parenting easier for so many of us, 2011 also marked the 150 anniversary of the Civil War. 

   June 1861 in particular was important, as West Virginia was "born".  It seems that the residents of of Virginia's western counties did not wish to secede along with the rest of Virginia.  Thus, the western counties of Virginia were admitted into the Union as "West Virginia" on June 20, 1863. 

   Now... why my sudden fascination with the Civil War?  First off, there were only a few "civil" things about the war here in the U.S.  No war is ever civil,  for that matter.  The term "civil war" is an oxymoron.  Like "jumbo shrimp", "act naturally" or "books on tape", the phrase contradicts itself.  

   Also, having lived in Virginia once upon a time, and having sold on Ebay some Civil War relics like battlefield bullets found in Northern Virginia (little things that look like they are made of cement) for  a family member, I find the Civil War and its artifacts interesting.  While I know there were many causes contributing to the run up to the war, the issue of ending the abhorrent  practice of slavery was by far the most important reason in the mind of any civil and sane thinking person.  The sons, brothers and fathers who gave their lives and limbs to the cause of ending slavery are true heroes.  

   My last reason? Those men who lost their lives and limbs, along with how they ate during and after the war.  I may have found such a utensil.  I wound up with a new find that everyone seems to believe is a Civil War era relic.  I am not sure though, so I am posting it here to see if anyone has a clue as to its origins.  

   I found the odd folding fork and spoon a few months back.  I have looked all over for a patent or a mark and can find none.  I went through all of the patents of folding utensils from the mid to late 1800s and the early 1900s.  Nothing is like this one.  

   Many believe it to be Civil War era, from the metal and the design.  I have found some similar folding sets listed as "WWI military forks", but they are made of tin and much more simplistic in the design. The fork ends are just that; fork ends.  This fork end is more like a "knork", which is a half knife and half fork design.  The other folding utensils that are from WWI are also nothing like this one in color. 

   There was a fork designed for men who had lost an arm in the war.  The "One Armed Man Fork" was patented for Civil War veterans.  It was quite different, and not at all like the one created by Admiral Nelson of the British navy.  He designed a fork with which to eat after losing an arm in battle at Santa Cruz, Tenerife, in July of 1797.  The silver three-pronged fork has a separate steel blade attached along the side the tines by a screw. 

Admiral Nelson

A copy of a "Nelson Fork"

A Nelson Fork

Civil War Veteran with One Arm

   

Fork designed for a One Armed Man or Civil War Veteran

  










   






   
   

   
   


   

   My folding utensil set, unlike either of these shown, is of  an undetermined metal.  I have an "expert" on metals in the family who is usually really good at this sort of thing.  He has no clue as to what it is made  from without testing it, but I don't want to take any chances with it or ruin the patina.  My mother, who made jewelry as an off and on hobby for about 25 years, also is pretty good with metals. 

A variety of 19th & 20th Century "knorks" for pastry, pie and pickles, along with  modern one-armed dining knorks (with white plastic handles)- on the far right is a cheese knife

She is baffled as well.  I can't say for certain it was not originally silver plated, as silver polish did nothing.  But it is heavy.
 
   A few people suggested that if it was a Civil War era relic, it had been buried.  But I have a spoon which had been buried for over 100 years, and the color is different.  Maybe the soil type in the various states on the east coast and in the south would make a difference if it was Civil War period?  

   My spoon, that I know for a fact was buried for a hundred years or so, was dug up a few years ago here in Southern California at the Graber Olive House.  It  looks quite different in color.  The pipes at the Graber Olive House were put in when C.C. Graber was building his business and house in the late 1890s and early 1900s.  My son called one day and said, "I found an old spoon buried by the pipes we worked on today.  I saved it for you.  It's not in great condition, but you may like it."  He brought it over that evening after work and I was tickled pink.  I had a spoon just like it, which hadn't been buried under several feet of dirt for a century, and I take the set to talks that I do occasionally for kids, museums and such. 

   I am always surprised that so many people are really fascinated to find out what their flatware would look like to be buried for so long.  School kids, and their teachers especially, want to feel both of the spoons and really look closely at them.

    So here are the 3 items again.  The folding spoon is the one in question.  The unique fork end like a "knork" is what stumps flatware enthusiasts like myself.  Is it supposed to be a variation of a knife, fork and spoon combination folding mess utensil? 

Anyone out there got any info on this utensil?  Please let me know if you do.

The fork and spoon folds completely and is quite heavy.  Not only is the fork end different in design from WWI foldable utensils I have seen, but the bowl of the spoon end has a raised edge.