Food Service Etiquette and Styles

Service with a smile is more important than which side the food is served from, but it helps to have a server with both the smile and the knowledge!
-Image source, photo of a page in Town and Country Magazine, 2013

Ever since we were shutdown (just for a few weeks to flatten the curve) back in March of 2020, I have received weekly emails and phone calls with the same types of question… “When will you be teaching or giving seminars again?” “When will you be having another tea and talk?” “When will the Olive House be reopened?” I have been giving pretty much the same answer this whole time… “I’m not sure.”

Yes, there was that brief window when I scheduled private group classes, book signings, teas, etc… back in July. Then, I found out I was not only sick, but contagious. I had to cancel everything, including a long planned, talk and Zoom presentation for the Ontario Museum of History and Art. I was crushed and just now am getting better. I am starting to believe classes will be back up and running for October and the museum presentation will, fingers crossed, be in person on November 6th. We’re even hoping to have a tea along with the presentation. I have to follow the heath department rules, however, as does the Olive House, so I have been looking online to see what that will entail.

I was pleased to find this article below on the State Food Safety website. It’s a great article from 2014 on serving food at the table. I get asked about the etiquette for this on a regular basis, but I always have to warn whomever I am speaking with that not all servers are trained in such skills, and there are several different serving styles now in use. Also, most restaurant staff here in the U.S. do not look upon such a job as a career, but as part-time work on the ladder up to something better.   This on Etiquipedia© is an excellent article on varying food service styles, from British Service to Homestyle Service. The new “French Service” has its own article.

I do restaurant and country club staff training, but can’t reach every establishment. And what with many restaurants shuttered permanently, due to this COVID beast we weren’t prepared for, I’m not sure when I will be doing such training again any time soon. The turnover of servers is high and right now, restaurants are desperate for staff. It’s a difficult situation. This article is perfect for the current state of things so I am posting it here for my readers.

Is Left Right?

What side do you serve from?

The correct way to serve food is probably unknown to your customers, but vital to you. This technique requires you place the dishes in front of the customers and take them away from the proper side. Doing so will enhance their overall dining experience.

Chef Albrich, an Austrian-born fine dining expert, suggests that the traditional method of placing dishes from the left and removing them from the right is not always the best way to serve guests. According to him, the custom of serving guests from the left started long ago when food for meals would come out on large trays. Empty plates would be placed in front of guests from the left side, then each one of the plates would be filled with food in their place from the large tray.

“But if you are like most people today and have the plates presented to your guests with the food already on it, nicely displayed and decorated, then it should be served from the right, and it is incorrect to serve it from the left,” Chef Albrich says.

He goes on to outline which foods can be properly delivered from each side of the guest.

Serve from the left

If the place where you work gives its guests empty plates and later fills them at the table, those plates should be given to the customer from the left side. Sides such as vegetables and bread can also be delivered from the left and they should also be removed from the left.

Serve from the right

If the customer’s plate is arranged in the kitchen it should be delivered to them from the right side. Pre-plated food (considering the exceptions above), beverages, all empty plates, and utensils should be served from the guest’s right. All dishes served from the right need to also be removed from the right.

Once again, it is likely that many of your customers won’t know which side is correct when you serve them; however, there is a proper way to serve dishes and you never know when you’ll have a dining expert in your midst! —Jeremy Howard

This post was originally published in November 2014 and has been updated for freshness, accuracy, and comprehensiveness.

New Book of Manners for Children

The Life of Betty Graber 
Seen Through Her 
Daughter-in-Law’s Eyes

Betty, at 9 or 10 years old. It's the age she'll be in the next book, which jumps ahead in time 4 years. Pictured above, circa 1926, with Betty are her brother, Jeremiah, known as "Jack" in the book, Betty's grandmother, Mrs. William Martin, and Betty's older brother Bill.

Betty at 5 or 6 years old, in 1922, the year in which the current book is set, beside one of the book illustrations, by artist Christie Shinn.

Maura's daughter Katherine, and granddaughter Marina, enjoying the new book.

Mary “Betty” Graber loved the Inland Valley community where she grew up, raised a family and spent years involved in promoting its culture and history.

The late Graber family matriarch grew up when women gathered for tea, went to classes to learn to speak eloquently and kept/delivered calling cards. She was a member of the Chaffey Community Art Association, the Soroptimist Club and the Shakespeare Club. 

The only photo Maura has been able to find of Betty with a cat... The Graber family, circa 1955

Now, through the efforts of her daughter-in-law, Maura Graber, some stories from her past can help children learn about themselves, their actions and how they affect others. Maura Graber, has written “The Wallflowers and Wildflowers Learn Manners,” which is based on the late Betty Graber’s childhood in 1922 San Dimas. 

The book, which is the first in an expected series, teaches youngsters important social skills and manners through the eyes of the young Betty and her pets. Maura Graber, who has long taught etiquette lessons to the young and old, said researching the books also helped add even more stories to the family’s history. The family started the historic Graber Olive House in Ontario in 1894 and continues today.

Rags, a family dog, plays a big role in the etiquette books.

In fact, that’s where Graber and book artist Christie Shinn recently conducted a book signing. “I think that Betty would’ve been tickled by the book,” said Graber, especially since Betty was a devoted patron of the local arts scene. Friends of the family stopped by as did Petrina Delman of Ontario Heritage, who bought a book for herself and one for the nonprofit.

The next book, too, is set in San Dimas and will involve tea and tea-room etiquette while continuing the storyline. Betty grew up in the Martin House in that city. The house today is an historical building and home to the San Dimas Chamber of Commerce. “Tea rooms were so fashionable in the 1920s, Men fashionably drank tea in San Francisco and there were French, Scottish, British and even American tea rooms,” she said. “It’s pretty crazy, as I’m not that big of a fan of tea. Seeing as it’s basically a buffet with tea, coffee and possibly hot chocolate or lemonade, if done according to proper etiquette, it’s simply a buffet with a beverage. Americans have romanticized it to an odd point. I have never figured that out." 

A favorite photo of Maura's and husband Cliff, is this of Betty's older brother, Bill. It was taken in San Dimas in 1922.

She can see where it may have seemed exotic in the late 1800s to early 1900s. Russian tearooms with their glistening samovars had been very popular until the overthrow of the czar and murder of his family. After that, they fell out of fashion and British-style tearooms came into popularity. And it really wasn’t until the Edwardian era, and then into the 1920s, that women could go out to restaurants unchaperoned. “So I have a lot to work with regarding history, along with the story of Betty and the pets,” she said.

Book three will take the story back to the animals again, while tackling the issues of bullying and homelessness.                                     

Another favorite photo is this 1907, Edwardian Era shot of Betty's mother, Ruth, and a college chum, in "Zaferia" California. Zaferia later became "East Long Beach" California

Her research produced stacks of photos and family albums which were used in the book as well as some displayed at the book signing. “We even have a scrapbook that Bill kept (Betty’s older brother) that was from Bonita High School in the 1930s. They are really just wonderful.”      
Betty’s son and Maura’s husband, Cliff said, “The Wallflowers and Wildflowers Learn Manners” tells the story of his mother, her cats and their floral names. “It was so creative, the names, along with the fact that indoor cats were a rarity in that era,” he said.
                                                                           

Over 50 of the old photos were shown at the recent book signing and photo event at the Graber Olive House. The photos ranged from the late 1800s to the 1920s were from a variety of Inland Empire and Southern California communities; San Dimas, San Dimas Canyon, Zaferia (East Long Beach), Bay City (now Seal Beach), Balboa and Newport Beaches, Pomona, Mt. Baldy and "Camp Baldy." Betty's childhood was discussed, and nods to her adult life were brought up as well. In the book, the cow in the Martin House barn is named "Shakespeare," in honor of Betty's fondness for, and friends from, the popular local club.

Cliff and Maura heard the story just two weeks before Betty died in 2014 at the age of 98. “Maura and I were taken by surprise by her story, as Betty wasn’t really ever what one would call a 'pet person' and she had never told me about the cats when I was growing up.”

The “wallflowers and wildflowers” idea for the story was along the lines of the “The Prince and the Pauper” or of the country mouse and the city mouse, and the challenges of changing places for a day. “Maura is always looking for ways to get kids interested in manners and this story just sort of clicked with her,” Cliff said.

“The Wallflowers and Wildflowers Learn Manners” is $12.95 and available at the Graber Olive House and Amazon.com


The original article was written by  Suzanne Sproul, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin

Co-ed, weekend youth classes in etiquette, manners and social skills, at the Graber Olive House beginning February 20th!

The RSVP Institute is pleased to now offer co-ed, weekend youth classes in etiquette, manners and social skills, at the historic Graber Olive House in Ontario, beginning February 20th. The $70.00 per student fee covers all foods and handouts.
 

Classes for ages 5 -11 are from 11:30 to 1:00 p.m.
Classes for ages  12 and up are from 1:30 to 3:00 p.m.
 

The 4 week, 1 & 1/2 hour classes will focus on;
•The keys to living a respectful and polite life.
•Basic social graces, posture and image
•Dining Skills and Table Manners 

(with foods to practice the dining skills taught)
•Cultural Diversity and Respect for Others
•Deflecting Peer Pressure Gracefully
•Phone, Text Manners, Web @ttitude© and Other E-Manners
•Manners for Home and Abroad
•Gero-dynamics©, “Thank you" notes and RSVPs
•Tricks to developing great habits.
•“Yes please”, “Thank you”, “Excuse Me”, and other verbal cues that open doors, build friendships, make parents and teachers smile.
 
Register early to secure your son’s or daughter’s enrollment.
Open to ages 5 to 17- Call 909 923-5650 or
email for more information: mannersclass@gmail.com