Showing posts with label Table Setting Etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Table Setting Etiquette. Show all posts

Table Etiquette, Decor and Elise de Wolfe

Elise de Wolfe
“With her shrill instruction that plates should be ‘hot, hot, hot’ and centerpieces ‘low, low, low,’ decorator Elise de Wolfe came off slightly tamer than her usual avant-garde self. Never fear. Unmentioned were the details of the practices she preached, like the radical table she set in 1934: Carved chunks of rock crystal on a silver lamé tablecloth. In the history of the American centerpiece, Elise's glamorous rocks and lamé landmark was halfway between the follies of the Victorians and the equally silly indulgences of the 1960s. Every decade in this century has had its own ephemeral centerpiece style, inspired by a sometimes unlikely grab bag of sources, from clothing to window displays, from current events to cartoons.

Sturdily conservative Victorians favored variations on the formula of epergne, candlesticks, vases, and garlands. These objects were symmetrically laid out over the entire table with the precision of a golf course. Fodder for the standard flower arrangement included ferns, irises, roses, carnations, tulips, violets, and daisies. Nothing too violently colored — or strong smelling — became a table decoration before 1914, apparently with good reason. ‘I shivered through a whole meal where blue plates swore at a raw-green vase holding purple asters,’ confessed one sensitive reader to Good Housekeeping in1909.
“She suggested one need not even have a matching set of dining-room chairs, so it stands to reason she'd have been open to mis-matched plates, silver and beverage ware, as long as they too, complemented one another.” 
In The House in Good Taste, Elise de Wolfe, argued for plainer, brighter, simpler, yet more refined homes. De Wolfe liked items in a room to complement one another, but did not believe every piece had to match. She suggested one need not even have a matching set of dining-room chairs, so it stands to reason she'd have been open to mis-matched plates, silver and beverage ware, as long as they too, complemented one another.

More adventurous was the school of the fantastical centerpiece, which flourished well into the early 1900s. Although they might appear to be derivative of a kiddie birthday party, these goofy prop-laden tableaux we're for adults only — paper lanterns, fans, parasols, birchbark canoes, baskets and toy bunnies ranked as decorations. Theme centerpieces recognized timely topics, such as the flight of a dirigeable or women's suffrage. Centerpieces also celebrated the hostess's skills with flowers, scissors, and ice pick, as many of the items were handmade.

Several examples described in The Table, a 1904 decorating guide, helped the hostess create a cooling atmosphere for a summer meal. One centerpiece was built around a big block of ice, hollowed out to hold a bowl of water and live goldfish. Evergreen sprigs might be strewn on the table and newspaper clippings about blizzards pasted on the place cards. Harper's Bazaar tried to stem this ornamental rambunctiousness in 1910, scolding, ‘There is such a thing as carrying originality beyond the limits of good taste, forgetting the beautiful and the appropriate in our desire for the unusual.’

By the early 1920s the magazine had its way. Fashionable hostesses abandoned arts and crafts projects for store-bought knickknacks, which reigned over tables for decades. China birds, cupids, Pierrots and nymphs were de rigueur. In the 1930s, surrealism and Walt Disney's new cartoons triggered a fresh round of a knickknack mania. Elegant, as well as silly objects (seashells, polar bear figurines) were ‘floated’ on mirror glass as comic conversation pieces.

While a timid bouquet and Georgian silver bowls still held a hallowed place on some tables, they were regarded as unutterably dull by the truly Chic 1930s hostess. Her mission was to conjure up a centerpiece that was shockingly original. Table setting contests across the country showcased this creativity. Women had to hustle (or hallucinate) to equal the tin pan extravaganza dreamed up by a Chicago clubwoman in 1930. On a cream satin tablecloth, she topped cookie sheets with angel food cake pans filled with cattails and kitchen molds heaped with pineapples, kumquats, and silver painted boxwood. In 1936, House & Garden met her effort more than halfway, with a centerpiece of bristly coral, prickly pears, pomegranates, pineapples, and seashells. Cecil Beaton used the same type of hilariously bizarre prop juxtapositions in his fashion photographs for Vogue.

Meanwhile, the modern mode caused a centerpiece casualty — the bouquet lost its cachet. It was replaced by a lonely white orchid or gardenia floating in a glass bowl. An equally cold-blooded glass-and-glitter scenario was engineered by industrial designer Walter Dorwin Teague in 1933: a mirrored bowl and crystal prisms deployed amid black plates on a mirrored table.

Faced with wartime privations in the forties, even decorators like Dorothy Draper, who enjoyed expensive larger-than-life effects suggested thrift shops as a source for frugal table ornaments. With a nod to the victory garden, the humble vegetable was put to work, occasionally teamed with fruit or flowers. Typical table ornaments: baby carrots on a bed of lava rocks and yellow pottery, candles mixed with cabbages and peppers, and calla lilies in a wooden chopping bowl. A charmless utilitarian item, the lazy Susan, was now dignified as a ‘centerpiece.’

Although edible decorations continued to play a starring role after the war, they lost their stagey exaggeration in the 1950s. That decade stands as the stylistic low point in the history of the centerpiece. Even House & Garden lost its courage, putting grocery-laden arrangements in the spotlight: a melon shell stuffed with berries, tiers of nuts and mints, a pedestrian bowl of salad or basket of bread.

The table was roused from its stupor in the sixties by a number of innovations. First, towering topiary-like arrangements: everything from shrimp to pea pods was toothpicked to florist's foam, which had just been introduced. Another standard was the faux naif style, resurrected in the eighties. Mushrooms and ferns were presented in a silver basket, turnips piled in a Wedgewood bowl, stalks of rhubarb found with velvet ribbon. By mid-decade personal collectibles made for self-conscious tables. The fashion designer, Arnold Scaasi philosophized that the dining table, ‘where we spend only an hour or two can better afford to be far-out-' than anything else we live with.’ True to his word, Scaasi dished up a visual feast of rare shells, ivory utensils, a bell jar of butterflies, and brass objects squeezed in with jade cups and flowered plates.

The casual lifestyle promoted by the counterculture made the dining room — as well as the table itself — passé. Guests were seated at multiple small tables or on floor cushions. Centerpieces shrank to fit — or disappeared altogether. Those that survived had a handmade, throwaway style. Society, and society's dropouts alike, created happening tables with painted plastic poppies, bread sculpture, peacock feathers, handicraft candles, and blinking lights. For those so inclined, drug paraphernalia and ashtrays were practical accoutrements.

After this flower child glory, entertaining took a conservative turn: by 1973 the stylish turned to Ultrasuede tablecloths. Despite the example of Halston — as well as minimalist art and nouvelle cuisine, - centerpieces never took on a spare elegance. Hostesses in the seventies remained enthralled with the sixties passion for clusters of esoteric objects. For its readers, Vogue showed showed tables loaded with ivory candlesticks, tortoise shell cigarette boxes, mother-of-pearl ashtrays, and lacquered Chinese boxes. The flip side was the au naturel look: flowering quince branches shoved into a copper milk can, dwarf spruce trees, and garden variety plants in terra-cotta pots spilling soil onto the table.

Persisting into the eighties was the passion for a table littered with small precious objects. However, Judith Price, owner of Avenue magazine, had a fresher take on the decade's outlook. For a power breakfast, Price plunked down three video monitors as a centerpiece. On a grander scale, were the table settings professional "events designers" concocted for lavish benefits and parties. The decorations at a masked ball for gossip columnist, Suzy, held at the Plaza Hotel in 1985, epitomized eighties excess. Each table sprouted a lamé tree trunk drooping with crystal palm fronds, silver grapevines, moss, and orchids.

While most ornaments rate only as period pieces, Coco Chanel can be credited with an innovation that transcended fashion. At a dinner party sometime in the thirties, she made an alarm clock the centerpiece to claim her fair share of talk time against another loquacious guest, Salvador Dali. Chanel's clock solved two of the hostess's perennial problems: decoration and conversation. A centerpiece has no higher mission.” –  –by Writer, Jody Shields

The Art and Etiquette of Setting a Beautiful Table

... Not to Mention Throwing a Fabulous Bridal Shower! 

A beautiful welcome to a bridal shower for my nephew's fiancée, Casey!

A friend, Elle Richesse, recently gifted me with a subscription to Tea Time magazine.  Not being a big tea lover (as many of my readers know) I was still looking forward to the magazine, as I knew it would be filled with beautiful pictures, stories and features on various tea rooms.  I'm always up for a good cucumber sandwich, and tea rooms are generally charming places to visit.
Taking photos from an old Architectural Digest and tweeting from my doctor's exam room.  Surprisingly, he was interested in my thoughts on place setting etiquette.  Then again, his daughters were in my etiquette classes years ago.
I was pleased to see on the cover when the first issue arrived, that table settings would be featured and a Downton Abbey tea.  A big Downton Abbey fan, I was looking forward to reading about Downton and seeing the table settings.  
Tea really isn't "my cup of tea," but the articles in this magazine really are terrific.  Thank you again, Elle!

I am known for zeroing in on table settings the moment I see a table set. It comes from years of judging tables, setting tables, and an enthusiasm for a certain symmetry.  It's sort of like my bizarre counting the rings of ringing telephones on tv and in movies, but that is for another post.  It's not something I want to do mind you, it just happens. Its the same thing with table settings and me. It doesn't matter if I'm flipping through a magazine or walking through a restaurant. I see a place setting and immediately start looking to see if it is correct or incorrect. So flipping through Tea Time and to the Downton Abbey Tea... Oh dear...
Almost Downton Abbey style, but those forks would never be placed on the napkins!
One of my biggest peeves with place settings? Those which have forks placed on the napkins.  One's guests should not have to reset one's table, but that is exactly what a host or hostess is requiring their guests to do when they place forks on napkins.  The guests have to take the 2, or possibly 3, forks off of the napkin with one hand, retrieve the napkin to place in their laps, then replace the forks back down in their correct order. 
Napkin in the center of the place setting

A napkin belongs in the center of the place setting, if you really want your guests to use them nowadays.  Napkins placed to the left of the forks are okay in my book, but again, I want my guests to put their napkins in their laps.  Placing them on the table or service plate, in the center of the setting, means that your guest has to remove the napkin to have food placed in front of him or her.  I have seen napkins set to the left of the forks go completely unused, so I do not recommend placing napkins there.
 
Napkin to the left of the forks, in a napkin ring.

Now I understand why magazines and catalogs show gorgeous settings with the forks on the napkins.  It is either to show off more on an already crowded table, with limited space on the page, or it is that the stylist or photographer has no idea that placing the forks on the napkins is improper.  Those photos are not nearly as irritating as the old magazine and catalog, "mirror -image" backward place settings, that had the photo transparencies reversed prior to printing.  Seeing those photos of really beautiful but backward tables, always made me nuts!  So walking in to see these gorgeous tables set with such flair for the bridal shower Sunday... I was thrilled.
The settings Sunday?  Wonderful! 

The bridal shower Sunday was just beautiful.  Really stunning. 
 
Kudos to Peggy, and my niece Kelly.  They outdid themselves on this shower!

Kelly and Peggy have a surprise basket of roses for Casey from Sean.   Each had a note attached with a different reason why he loves her.  So sweet.

As I was admiring the tables and taking photos, a good friend of Peggy's, chef Cathy Mc Knight, told me that Peggy had gotten the vintage glasses, mismatched antique  silver flatware, etc... from a company called Archive Rentals.  I was dying to talk with Peggy about the settings, but didn't want to pester my sister in-law, as she and my niece Kelly had their hands full, putting the finishing touches on everything. 

Cathy's son, Scotty, is a groomsman in my nephew's wedding, as is a young man named Garrett Beck.  I had interviewed the three of them on sports etiquette back when they were all buddies in eighth grade.
Garrett, Sean and Scotty all grown up!  I still have my taped interview with them on sports' etiquette though, and am planning a blog post using their thoughts from 13 years ago.  All are still excellent etiquette tips!
Amanda Ngyuen (from my post on calling cards), a dear friend Maria Basdakis, Cathy McKnight and myself.  I spent a whole year and a half on the east coast and picked up that "no white after Labor Day" habit, so when the invite requested we, "Wear white or a favorite white accessory." I could only bring myself to wear a white jacket, even though it was a warm 80 degrees outside.
I also spotted Cindy Beck and chatted about Garrett.  She was exhausted, but also very excited and told us about her son in-law, Olympian Bode Miller's latest medal.  She had gotten texts from her daughter in Russia at about 4:00 a.m. and was thrilled for his win.

 
Me with Cindy Beck... Cheers to Olympic medals and a lovely afternoon!
Peggy had Yolanda Thayer there.  She has a company called "Perfume Bar Soiree" and mixed perfume for each guest.  We got to choose from the different top notes, etc... to create our own personal scent.  She had a label to place on the bottle and asked what I wanted to call my scent. All I could think of was "Etiquette."  The gift boxes at everyone's seats, held a different vintage or antique crystal perfume bottle.  No two were alike.   

 
One of Casey's bridesmaids, Emily with Amanda of "Feast.Fashion.Faves" along with my son Robert's girlfriend Kelsey, at Yolanda's table of "Perfume Bar Soiree"

Great food, wonderful company, scintillating scents and beautifully set tables.  What more could one ask for in a bridal shower?

Casey opening the gifts Kelsey and I brought for her.
Peggy and Kelly had a white, tufted seat raised up for Casey to sit on while she opened her gifts.  She looked just like a princess!


Victorian and Edwardian Era Bridal Shower Etiquette

The bestowal of engagement presents has of late years taken on a wholesale aspect. Instead of the occasional receipt of a present from one or another of her friends and relatives, the bride-elect is often now the guest of honor at one or more parties called "showers," and the recipient of numerous gifts which are literally showered upon her. There are many kinds of "showers," as many as the ingenuity and financial resources of friends may admit of. When, however, any one bride is to be made the object of a series of such attentions, it is well for the girl's friends who have the matter in hand to see to it that no one person is invited to more than one shower, or, if so invited, that it be at her own request and because she wishes to make several gifts to her friend.  These affairs should be purely spontaneous and informal, and occasions of much fun and jollity. Nevertheless, there is danger of overdoing the idea, and making the recipient feel burdened rather than gratified by the zeal of her friends in her behalf.
 

Effort should be made not to have the articles given at a "shower" duplicate each other. They should be some simple, useful gifts, which will be of immediate service, and need not be either expensive or especially durable, unless the giver so desires. A "shower" is usually given when a wedding is in prospect, and the necessity of stocking up the new home confronts the young home-makers. The aim is to take a kindly interest in the new home and help to fit it out, more in the way of suggestion than in any extravagant way, which would make the recipients feel embarrassed or indebted, or overload them with semi-desirable gifts.
 

The "shower" is usually in the afternoon, and is joined in almost exclusively by the girl friends of the bride-elect, with perhaps a few of her older women friends and relatives. If, however, it comes in the evening, the men of the bridal party are usually also invited. The refreshments are simple and the style of entertainment informal. The invitations to a "shower" are usually given by the hostess verbally, or she sends her cards by post with the words "Linen shower for Miss Hanley on Wednesday at four."
 

There is a wide range of possible kinds of "showers," but the only rational way is to choose for a donation party of this sort only such objects as will be needed in quantity and variety, and in the choice of which one has not too strong and distinctive taste, as, for instance, the following: Linen, towels, glass, books, fancy china, silver, spoons, aprons, etc. Of course, the furnishings of some one room, as the bath-room, laundry, or kitchen, might be the subject of a "shower," but usually a housewife would prefer to have what she wanted and nothing else for use in these places.



From Etiquipedia

Antique perfume bottles and scents to choose from, at the ready... 
Best wishes to Casey for a beautiful wedding!


The Art of the Social Graces

    The study of etiquette and social graces is a science, but practicing the knowledge gained from that science, is truly an art form that one develops!




   The Art of the Social Graces
     by Bernadette Michelle Petrotta


"Do not assume people enjoy forwarded emails.  Check with them first before sending"~from The Art of the Social Graces

 

Bernadette Petrotta is one of the few people I know, who practices the art of social graces in her everyday life. Long an etiquette instructor, her book is a concise, well written guide to etiquette, and how to artfully put that etiquette to use with social grace and ease.

 

 

"The essence of hospitality means leaving no detail unattended. Set your table with a sense of poise and a sense of welcome that brings warmth into your home."~from The Art of the Social Graces 

 

It is filled with helpful suggestions, and the rules for introductions, entertaining, dining out, helpful dining guidelines for all types of foods, table setting and place setting diagrams, appropriate attire, afternoon tea and much more.  There are one or two points I disagree with Bernadette on, but people have personal preferences, and we are no exception.  Besides that, I can find at least ten things I disagree on within the first few glances at the majority of newer books on etiquette that I see.  "The Art of the Social Graces" is an exception.

 

"The hostess will place a napkin on her lap.  The guests should follow suit." ~from The Art of the Social Graces

          
I do not generally recommend any new etiquette books, however this book is truly worth reading.  If you are in the etiquette business, feel flummoxed at the thought of entertaining, or know a new bride or bride-to-be who can use guidance, this book is an excellent choice for any bookshelf or home library.









http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Social-Graces-Victorian/dp/1467966835

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