Why do women say that men have no manners?
The majority of
etiquette rules as we know them today, are rules created over
centuries by men worldwide. The following are a few notable examples
of men in history, known for their manners.
 |
Confucius
551-479 BC
|
"The
ancient kings were watchful in regard to the things by which the mind
was affected. And so they instituted ceremonies to direct men's aims
aright; music to give harmony to their voice; laws to unify their conduct..." Confucius on clarifying manners and civility.
 |
| Collin Powell early in his military career |
"The
use of profane or filthy language is forbidden. A man who cannot
express his feelings without profanity is seldom a good leader of men." The Bluejackets Manual 1944
 |
| Wally, Eddie, and Ward Cleaver talk college |
"Good
manners are the instruments that round off the personality of a man
so that it is agreeable and it becomes a strong magnet of attraction
for fellowship in the business world as well as in campus life."
The Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity 1958
Edward Kennedy's famous nickname denoted his good manners. The moniker "Duke" was given to him by his friends in grammar school, as they thought he had the mannerisms of royalty. It stuck with him throughout his life.
What?
You have never heard of this? Surely you have heard of Duke
Ellington. His full name was Edward Kennedy Ellington. The American
pianist was considered the greatest jazz composer and bandleader of
all time. Ellington composed thousands of scores, and is famous for
creating one of the most distinctive ensemble sounds in music history.
Oh yes... and he had impeccable manners.
George Washington's "Rules of Civility"
Throughout history table manners have been important. Even
George Washington, our first President, was told to keep his elbows off
of the table. Sure, the language was different then. But the
meanings and reasons behind most old rules still are important. In Colonial times, just as today, it was better to “Talk not with meat in your mouth!”
The following are just a few of the rules of civility that George
Washington learned in school. He copied these onto pieces of paper and
his mother sewed them into a notebook. How would they sound in
today’s modern language?
How to be polite while talking to people:
"If you sigh, or yawn, do it not loud but privately. Shake
not the head. Roll not the eyes. Do not gnaw your nails. Bedew no
man’s face with your spittle, by approaching too near him when you speak."
How to be polite while at the table:
"Before
and after drinking, wipe your lips. Breathe not then or ever with too
great a noise, for it’s uncivil. Let not the morsels be too big for
the gowls."
How to be polite while out and about:
"Play
not the peacock, looking everywhere about you, to see if you be well
deck’t. Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your
own
reputation; for ‘tis better to be alone than in bad company."
What you should do at all times:
"Labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience."
The famous Dutchman Erasmus, on "Early Table Manners" ......
A Christian educator, scholar & philosopher, Erasmus of Rotterdam, determined that manners were best instilled at an early age.
Here are a few tidbits from the three century best seller, "On Civility in Children" (c.1530):
"Turn away when spitting lest your saliva fall on someone. If anything purulent falls on the ground, it should be trodden upon, lest it nauseate someone."
"To lick greasy fingers or to wipe them on your coat is impolite. It is better to use the table cloth or the serviette."
"Some people put their hands in the dishes the moment they have sat down. Wolves do that."
"You should not offer your handkerchief to anyone unless it has been freshly washed. Nor is it seemly, after wiping your nose, to spread out your handkerchief and peer into it as if pearl and
rubies might have fallen out of your head."
"If you cannot swallow a piece of food, turn around discreetly and throw it somewhere."
"Do
not move back and forth on your chair. Whoever does that gives the
impression of constantly breaking or trying to break wind."
Who was dubbed the "Father of Courtesy"?
Richard
de Beauchamp, the Earl of Warwick was "The Father of Courtesy". Born
in 1382, the English nobleman fought for Henry IV against Owen
Glendower and the Percys. In 1408 he set out for the Holy Land,
visiting monarchs and fighting in a tournament en route; he made a
similarly active return trip through various other parts of Europe.
Upon his return to England in 1410, Beauchamp performed several royal
missions, including that as chief English lay envoy to the Council of
Constance. He fought with notable success in Henry V's French campaigns
and on Henry's death in 1422, became a member of the council for the
infant Henry VI. He then served as tutor to the young king from 1428 to
1437, when he was appointed the lieutenant of Normandy & Fance .
Richard de Beauchamp was a man of piety and courtesy and was famed in
Europe as a chivalrous knight. His daughter Anne married and brought
the earldom to Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick. He died in 1439.
I have looked up to so many men in my life. These are great as guides for young men growing up now. They can see that manners knows no culture or social boundaries.
ReplyDelete