Informal Place Settings are Most Common

“A few of the people you'll meet at every party. It will pay you to get along with them.” — It will also pay to know their names and primary uses so that you can easily “read” your place settings at luncheons and dinner parties. 

Know your spoons– Placing a superfluous teaspoon at a formal dinner setting, is one of the biggest and common mistakes people make when setting the table. Teaspoons, with accompanying cups and saucers, are only found at informal lunch settings, tea settings or breakfast settings. If there is a teaspoon at your place setting, there must be a course for it; a fruit cup or appetizer, a palate cleanser, etc…
If a soup spoon is at the formal place setting, then a soup should be on the menu. And if there is a soup spoon, it should fit the soup type; Bouillon spoons only go with bouillon cups or bowls, cream soup spoons are only placed at settings with low, soup “plates,” etc…

Informal Place Setting Diagram —Only a luncheon or a very informal dinner setting will feature a cup, saucer and teaspoon. At formal dinner parties, coffee or tea are served away from the dining table. The service for coffee, tea or after dinner liqueurs, is brought out after the meal and usually served away from the table.

Eating is the one social activity common to everyone around the globe, but eating and dining are two different things. Practice dining when you are not in public and it will help you to avoid merely eating when among others.

“Table manners grew out of the fact that unless he is eating in a room empty of all but himself, a man eats in company and food is less appetizing if the other fellow's table manners are sloppy and disgusting. It matters little what sort of food is being served, whether the table is loaded with priceless silver and china or tin and graniteware; the simplest meal is made more attractive by the use of good table etiquette.”— From “Manners for Moderns,” 1938

Part of this article was previously published on the Etiquipedia.blogspot

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Settings and Oysters

A Gilded Age, 6 course, formal place setting, set for oysters as the first course.

As “What Have We Here?” at 162 pages, is 4 times longer than “Reaching for the Right Fork,” I could not use every photograph I took for the book. It would be too long. I will therefore be occasionally adding some of the photos which were ultimately unused to my blog posts. Here is one above, showing a Gilded Age formal place setting, set for a first course of oysters. 

Oyster forks, or any cocktail forks, can be properly placed in 3 different ways:

1. As the first of 3 forks to the left of a setting.
2. At the far right of a place setting, laying flat on the table next to the soup spoon or first knife, whichever utensil to be used afterward.
3. Or resting at an angle, with the small tines resting in the bowl of the soup spoon.

In the setting above, the oyster fork rests at an angle in the soup spoon, or the 3rd option. This positioning was to help those dining at crowded Gilded Age tables deal with an ever-growing list of specialty utensils at each place setting. The fork on the far left of one setting could be mistaken for the first fork expected for many foods for the diner on the right. 

At the same time, the decision had just recently been made by the arbiters of good taste during that time period in the U.S., to no longer allow four forks on the left, but to limit them to three. Those not up to snuff on the most recent etiquette rules, whether hosting a dinner or as a guest at one, could be confused. Laying it at an angle with the tines resting in one’s soup spoon bowl, alerted that guest that the fork belonged to him or her and not the place setting to the right.

This below is a page from the book, “What Have We Here?”: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...

 

“What Have We Here?” is Here!

What Have We Here? The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...

I have spoken about writing this book for the last few years, and finally the book is now here, available on Amazon. It was a labor of love and I enjoyed every moment of photographing the items I carefully chose to write about, many of which are on the front cover. 

There is a lot of information on Gilded Age etiquette (in anticipation of the upcoming Julian Fellowes’ program now filming for HBO in New York 😉) along with Georgian Era and Regency Era etiquette, etc… The crazy thing is that it took me several weeks to receive my author copies, but during my wait, people around the world were posting the most wonderful reviews on Instagram! Especially in Italy, where I have made several new friends.  

Of course there are plenty of utensils in the book. Favorites are Edwardian era cayenne pepper spoons, like this sterling one example below, from 1905.

               

Gilded Age chocolate spoons with a chocolate muddler, demitasse-sized trembleuse and pots de creme cups.

Many other items which are not utensils, but were part of everyday lives, are shown coming from the 1700’s through the early 1900’s. And, of course, there is a lot of etiquette included throughout, including place settings and proper use of glasses and dishes.

The Graber Olive House and beautiful late Spring weather offered a perfect backdrop for much of my photography.

Etiquette for gloves and glove stretchers like this Bailey, Banks and Biddle, sterling silver glove stretcher in the form of a duck, is one of my favorite items. Gloves and glove etiquette figure prominently in the book. And the section on napkins and gloves in the Gilded Age with the appropriately named, “napkin burrito,” is a must read and see!

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I want to thank all of the readers who have already purchased the book. Your incredible reviews online and Instagram have meant more than you know and make what I do all the more worthwhile!

Etiquette and Reaching That Right Fork

 
How many of my utensils can you name? Pictured above are a British bread fork, a cold meat serving fork, a butter fork, a butter pick, a large hot meat serving fork, a Mexican mango fork, a cucumber server, a lemon serving fork, a small hot meat fork, a youth spoon, a bacon serving fork, a potato serving fork, a youth fork, a melon fork, a pickle castor fork, a British sardine fork, a sugar spoon, an ice cream fork, and an olive serving fork and spoon.
            

There was an oft used phrase when I was growing up, which inferred that someone was “well-bred,” or in some way more refined than I ever hoped to be. It meant someone was beyond polite, had special knowledge of the social graces, or was not only well-mannered, but exhibited a special level of “class” which only a few could hope to exhibit. The phrase was, “She knows the correct fork to use.” or “He knows the correct fork to use.” 

It always seemed an odd phrase to me, seeing as the one thing I enjoyed doing that had anything to do with the social graces, was setting the table. I knew the correct forks, knives and spoons to use, but that knowledge did not make me polite or socially distinguished in any way, shape or form. In fact, I didn’t even know how to use them correctly or gracefully, until I was given instructions by my tremendously helpful, Aunt Virginia, back when I was in junior high school.

What I didn’t realize until I was older and more self-confident, was that knowing the correct fork to use, and being able to use utensils gracefully, allows people to relax more at social functions. And when people feel relaxed socially, especially when dining with others in public, those people are less likely to feel self-conscious. The opposite of what I describe, feeling socially self-conscious, can lead to overindulgence in alcohol, reverting to bad habits, or doing and saying inappropriate things in an effort to sound witty or impress others. 

I know one woman who, when feeling self-conscious at public events, will start arguments with those around her. Another’s husband will start speaking in odd accents that sound ridiculous, but his wife cannot get him to stop. Many years ago, a friend explained her problem with alcohol to me over dinner in a restaurant by saying, “When I start to drink a glass of wine, I immediately feel like I fit in... Like I am sexier, funnier, smarter and prettier!” I remember responding with, “When I drink a glass of wine, I usually feel sleepy.” But I was thinking to myself, “Thank God I don’t need alcohol to make me feel any of those things!” 

I felt as if I had discovered the secret. I had already cracked that code. I had developed they key to feeling as if I not only fit seamlessly in to any social situation, but that I added something to the group with whom I was socializing. I had started feeling less self-conscious publicly the moment I started learning basic social graces, which is why I started teaching etiquette so long ago.

Don’t get me wrong... I can still feel a bit intimidated now and then, especially as I have gotten older. But I don’t let it show if I am feeling self-conscious. I know how to control that and still have an enjoyable time. I can laugh at myself and not feel like an outsider. I learned the necessary etiquette. Not all at once, and not everything there is to know, but I can always look things up. It’s one of the reasons I began teaching etiquette nearly 30 years ago. It’s why I continue to maintain the Etiquipedia – an online Etiquette Encyclopedia.  

The post below is one originally posted on Etiquipedia after my last book was published. It’s a list of correct utensil usage from the book, “Reaching for the Right Fork.”

Using Your Utensils

Using “first” forks — Cocktail forks, oyster forks, escargot forks, and the like, are used with the right hand only. If snail or escargot tongs are being used, they are held in the left hand to hold the snail shell in place.

All spoons are used with the right hand, including individual caviar spoons and caviar spades.

Using dessert forks alone— Pie forks, ice cream forks, fruit forks can all properly used in the right hand, if no cutting with a knife is involved, with one notable ex-ception being the mango fork. A mango fork is held in the left hand while using a fruit knife or fruit spoon in the right hand.

Using dessert spoons alone — Ice cream, pots de crème, and other soft desserts eaten with spoons in the right hand.

Using a dessert fork and spoon together — Dessert eaten using 2 utensils is nearly always done in the Continental style, except this is done with a fork and spoon as opposed to with a fork and knife. The fork is held in the left hand with tines facing down, and the spoon is held in the right hand. The fork is used to hold or keep a dessert in place as the spoon cuts off small bites. This works well with desserts such as Baked Alaska or certain types of cakes.

An exception to this rule is pie or cake, à la mode. These are both eaten with a dessert fork and spoon. The spoon is used to cut and then place a bite of cake or pie and a bit of ice cream on the fork, which is held in the right hand and used to eat the dessert.

For all other dining with a knife and fork, the fork is in the left hand and the knife in the right when dining in the Continental style.

Fork tines point down for all cutting and eating in Continental dining, save for stringy pasta.

Fork tines point down only for cutting food, in the American style of dining.

From the book, Reaching for the Right Fork... the evolution of tabletop utensil 

Etiquette Sleuth and Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Mixing Etiquette with Humor

Evidently the photographer was still hanging around when Shelley Winters showed up at the police station to claim her man.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have a slew of etiquette books. I have old, collectable books, vintage books, antiquarian books, and even a few new ones hanging around. My favorites are the vintage etiquette books. I especially love any original tomes by Amy Vanderbilt, Letitia Baldrige and Miss Manners. Those are true gems.

Every once in awhile, I come across an article or blog post referencing new manners or the "new etiquette" for modern living. In reality, the manners and etiquette needed aren't new, but how we spend our daily lives is changing at such a rapid pace, the "old etiquette" just needs a bit of tweaking to adapt. In some cases, the old etiquette still fits just fine.

Anyone who knows me well, also knows I edit and moderate the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia blog. Whenever I am looking for new things to post, or reading submitted articles, I find things that are well written, funny and honestly helpful with regard to "new etiquette." This one is a gem! In our celebrity obsessed culture, this plea for new etiquette, from 1957, was a refreshing reminder of just how innocent the 1950s seemed.

New Book Needed

"MY GOOD deed for this day is a gratis presentation of a million dollar idea to Amy Vanderbilt and her host of imitators. The etiquette authorities, in their eagerness to transform us into a nation of Fauntleroys and Miss Prisses have somehow overlooked a virgin territory ripe for their ministrations. The ladies have prescribed the ground rules for every social contingency (rum apple bobbing to zebra hunting), but they have let their public down woefully on a 'Book of Etiquette As She Is Practiced in Hollywood.'

THERE IS a crying well, maybe, a screaming need for such a tome. Such a volume, if written by Mme. Fearless Fairless, would clear up the justifiable confusions that assail the civilian or non-Hollywood mind when Miss Shelley Winters (the inflammable Bernhardt of the screen), and her fiance, Anthony Franciosa, who is incadescent on his own, became entangled with (1) a news photographer and (2) with the law. The nuances of Hollywood social usage and the delicate shadings of custom in the cinema capital are splendidly illustrated by this fracas and also the necessity of a book that will explain these tribal taboos to outlanders.

TO BEGIN WITH Miss Winters and Franciosa have made no secret of their betrothal in any Broadway or theatre gossip column which would print the word. Nor has the phrase "Festively Top Secret" been stamped on the news that they would be wedded once the fiance was divorced by his wife. Furthermore, Miss Winters has never shown any more repugnance to being photographed by the press than, say, Jayne Mansfield. So when Miss Winters and her fiance went publicly and together to the Superior Court Building in Los Angeles to make an open and public bid on a home in Beverly Hills, a news photographer started to take a routine picture of the pair.

THIS IS WHERE the plot thickens and confusion reigns for us barbarians beyond the hills of Hollywood. The attempt to take a picture of Miss Winters and Franciosa together obviously fractured a strictly cinema social taboo. It caused Franciosa to fall upon the photographer and aim a placekick at his groin. And caused the law to jail Franciosa. "We can't have our pictures taken! He is still getting a divorce!" screamed Miss Winters. "He doesn’t want to be photographed because he doesn't want any scandal!” Sure enough, Franciosa was getting a divorce, on that very day. (Or rather, his wife received such a decree in Reno.)

ANYWAY, there you have the epitome of the delicate social usages that make Hollywood a trap for the unwary and a book of etiquette a necessity. Apparently, one of the basic rules says that if one is engaged to a man in the process of getting a divorce, it is all right to say it in print but not in pictures. That would constitute scandal. Of course, any book of etiquette is one-tenth politesse and nine-tenths anthropology. So my nominee as the author to tackle Hollywood's etiquette problems is Anthropologist Margaret Mead. Her study of the natives of Samoa made her world famous and ought to prepare her handsomely for research among the Holly-woodenheads." — Inez Robb for The Dessert Sun, May 4, 1957

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is generally annoyed by pleas for "new etiquette." Oh yes, and she edits the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia blog that you can read

here.

New Book of Manners for Children

The Life of Betty Graber 
Seen Through Her 
Daughter-in-Law’s Eyes

Betty, at 9 or 10 years old. It's the age she'll be in the next book, which jumps ahead in time 4 years. Pictured above, circa 1926, with Betty are her brother, Jeremiah, known as "Jack" in the book, Betty's grandmother, Mrs. William Martin, and Betty's older brother Bill.

Betty at 5 or 6 years old, in 1922, the year in which the current book is set, beside one of the book illustrations, by artist Christie Shinn.

Maura's daughter Katherine, and granddaughter Marina, enjoying the new book.

Mary “Betty” Graber loved the Inland Valley community where she grew up, raised a family and spent years involved in promoting its culture and history.

The late Graber family matriarch grew up when women gathered for tea, went to classes to learn to speak eloquently and kept/delivered calling cards. She was a member of the Chaffey Community Art Association, the Soroptimist Club and the Shakespeare Club. 

The only photo Maura has been able to find of Betty with a cat... The Graber family, circa 1955

Now, through the efforts of her daughter-in-law, Maura Graber, some stories from her past can help children learn about themselves, their actions and how they affect others. Maura Graber, has written “The Wallflowers and Wildflowers Learn Manners,” which is based on the late Betty Graber’s childhood in 1922 San Dimas. 

The book, which is the first in an expected series, teaches youngsters important social skills and manners through the eyes of the young Betty and her pets. Maura Graber, who has long taught etiquette lessons to the young and old, said researching the books also helped add even more stories to the family’s history. The family started the historic Graber Olive House in Ontario in 1894 and continues today.

Rags, a family dog, plays a big role in the etiquette books.

In fact, that’s where Graber and book artist Christie Shinn recently conducted a book signing. “I think that Betty would’ve been tickled by the book,” said Graber, especially since Betty was a devoted patron of the local arts scene. Friends of the family stopped by as did Petrina Delman of Ontario Heritage, who bought a book for herself and one for the nonprofit.

The next book, too, is set in San Dimas and will involve tea and tea-room etiquette while continuing the storyline. Betty grew up in the Martin House in that city. The house today is an historical building and home to the San Dimas Chamber of Commerce. “Tea rooms were so fashionable in the 1920s, Men fashionably drank tea in San Francisco and there were French, Scottish, British and even American tea rooms,” she said. “It’s pretty crazy, as I’m not that big of a fan of tea. Seeing as it’s basically a buffet with tea, coffee and possibly hot chocolate or lemonade, if done according to proper etiquette, it’s simply a buffet with a beverage. Americans have romanticized it to an odd point. I have never figured that out." 

A favorite photo of Maura's and husband Cliff, is this of Betty's older brother, Bill. It was taken in San Dimas in 1922.

She can see where it may have seemed exotic in the late 1800s to early 1900s. Russian tearooms with their glistening samovars had been very popular until the overthrow of the czar and murder of his family. After that, they fell out of fashion and British-style tearooms came into popularity. And it really wasn’t until the Edwardian era, and then into the 1920s, that women could go out to restaurants unchaperoned. “So I have a lot to work with regarding history, along with the story of Betty and the pets,” she said.

Book three will take the story back to the animals again, while tackling the issues of bullying and homelessness.                                     

Another favorite photo is this 1907, Edwardian Era shot of Betty's mother, Ruth, and a college chum, in "Zaferia" California. Zaferia later became "East Long Beach" California

Her research produced stacks of photos and family albums which were used in the book as well as some displayed at the book signing. “We even have a scrapbook that Bill kept (Betty’s older brother) that was from Bonita High School in the 1930s. They are really just wonderful.”      
Betty’s son and Maura’s husband, Cliff said, “The Wallflowers and Wildflowers Learn Manners” tells the story of his mother, her cats and their floral names. “It was so creative, the names, along with the fact that indoor cats were a rarity in that era,” he said.
                                                                           

Over 50 of the old photos were shown at the recent book signing and photo event at the Graber Olive House. The photos ranged from the late 1800s to the 1920s were from a variety of Inland Empire and Southern California communities; San Dimas, San Dimas Canyon, Zaferia (East Long Beach), Bay City (now Seal Beach), Balboa and Newport Beaches, Pomona, Mt. Baldy and "Camp Baldy." Betty's childhood was discussed, and nods to her adult life were brought up as well. In the book, the cow in the Martin House barn is named "Shakespeare," in honor of Betty's fondness for, and friends from, the popular local club.

Cliff and Maura heard the story just two weeks before Betty died in 2014 at the age of 98. “Maura and I were taken by surprise by her story, as Betty wasn’t really ever what one would call a 'pet person' and she had never told me about the cats when I was growing up.”

The “wallflowers and wildflowers” idea for the story was along the lines of the “The Prince and the Pauper” or of the country mouse and the city mouse, and the challenges of changing places for a day. “Maura is always looking for ways to get kids interested in manners and this story just sort of clicked with her,” Cliff said.

“The Wallflowers and Wildflowers Learn Manners” is $12.95 and available at the Graber Olive House and Amazon.com


The original article was written by  Suzanne Sproul, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin

Youth Etiquette Seminars and Lunches for December

Join us for an Etiquette Seminar and Lunch 

For ages 6 to 16!

Register for the Saturday Lunch or Sunday Lunch before December 12th

 Email rsvpinstitute@gmail.com for a registration form or call 
The RSVP Institute of Etiquette: 909 923-5650 or 800 891-RSVP

                            
       The youth luncheon seminars will be held at the Graber Olive House 

The Graber Olive House is located at: 

315 E. Fourth Street, Ontario 91764  Phone 909-983-1761  

   

  

  

The Abuses of Proper Etiquette in TV and Films

"It's 'Your Majesty' the first time.  After that, it's 'ma'am', as in 'ham'. Not 'ma'am', as in 'palm'."  Helena Bonham Carter, as quoted in "The King's Speech"

Guest Blogger Corey Peterson of New Zealand returns with this post on etiquette in period films and television;

When watching a film or television show, I have developed a habit of picking out all the faults and inaccuracies played out on screen. One of the most annoying for me, normally regarding Queen Victoria, is when they do not follow the "it's ‘ma’am as in ham, not ma’am as in palm’" rule or they address her as ma’am as soon as they meet.  The Queen would be, and should be, addressed as ‘Your Majesty’ when first addressing her, and from then on it is either Madame or ma’am, which either fits best at the time.

1975's "Edward the Eleventh" was renamed "Edward the King"

She is addressed as ‘Her Majesty, the Queen’ in communications via the post and then any subsequent references should be ‘The Queen’.  I have recently been watching the 1975 hit show, 'Edward the Seventh,' and the poor use of the rule,"ma’am as in ham, not ma’am as in palm" annoys me.  I often comment on how poorly they address Her Majesty as well as the abuses of simple etiquette rules and guidelines, such as posture and the incorrect usage of flatware.

Dame Judi Dench as "Mrs. Brown"

Another film that I found aggravatingly annoying was the dinner scene on "Mrs. Brown" starring Dame Judi Dench as Queen Victoria.  When the young Prince of Wales tapped his mother’s fine crystal with the back of his knife to draw attention to himself.  This in itself was vulgar but the manner of his conversation was even more so.  It is to me, a letdown when I am watching a period drama or film and the actors have not studied or listened to the etiquette rules and guidelines set at the time.

 Ladies of Cranford

But not all shows have neglected etiquette. One of my favourite and most loved period pieces is "Cranford."  The show is based on the works of Mrs. Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell’s most loved novellas, namely "Cranford", "My Lady Ludlow" and "Mr. Harrison’s Confessions." The characters, Miss Deborah (played by Eileen Atkins) and "Miss Matilda "Matty" Jenkyns" (played by Dame Judi Dench) are the two main characters and are sisters.  The pair are both spinsters and they own a house together.  Miss Deborah is the older, more proper sister; often corrects their maid, Martha, when she abuses proper code of etiquette.  Miss Matilda is the younger, more sheltered sister, who follows her elder sister’s proper use of etiquette.
 

"Miss Deborah is the older, more proper sister; often corrects their maid, Martha, when she abuses proper code of etiquette."

Almost all landowners over a certain age in "Cranford" are women and the etiquette used is still rigidly reinforced.  When we first meet the Jenkyns sisters, it is 1842.  The town is still a rather stiff and traditional one. With the arrival of many new characters, the etiquette rules are placed in jeopardy, which distresses and disturbs Miss Deborah.

 

Ladies from "Return to Cranford"

Without being too plot heavy, upon the death of a character, a sister is the only member remaining in the family.  When she wishes to walk her sister to the grave in her funeral procession, it was perceived as extremely ill-mannered at the time.  However, Miss Deborah surprises her sister and friends by not only condoning the gesture, but even following along with her as a show of support and an understanding her grief.

 

I highly recommend 'Cranford' to anyone who wishes to see a series with proper etiquette and an extremely touching storyline.

Ongoing Youth Etiquette Classes at the Graber Olive House

Hands-on training for difficult foods

The RSVP Institute of Etiquette’s newest coed courses at the Graber Olive House in Ontario are on Sunday afternoons from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m.  Sign up your students now and they can join in the fun of learning etiquette.   

The RSVP Institute has been teaching social skills that are vital to making one's way gracefully through life, since 1990.

Teamwork helps them learn!

Students learn in a friendly and casual setting

 

The three, 2 hour classes are $75.00 per student & with our family discount, siblings pay only $55.00 each. Classes are from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. The fee covers all classes, foods & handouts.

The classes focus on:

 
• Key Skills~ Basics, including; Introductions & Responses
 

• Dining Skills & Table Manners (w/foods served to practice dining skills)
 

• Manners; Home & Abroad, Cultural Diversity, Respect for Others
 

• Deflecting Peer Pressure, Tech Etiquette, “Thank you" notes
 

• Tricks to developing good eye contact, great posture, grooming
 

•Internet Manners, Cell Phone / Mobile Manners and Text Manners
 

• Advanced Manners that open doors, build friendships & more! 

Students of all ages find the classes fun and educational!

 

The Graber Olive House is located at: 315 E. Fourth Street,
 Ontario 91764   Phone  909-983-1761       

Registration forms with fee must be returned by Feb. 9th to secure registration!
Checks can be mailed to: RSVP 301 East Fourth Street, Ontario 91764

Questions? Would you like a registration form? 

Email mannersclass@gmail.com  

or call 909 923-5650      

                               Outside the 909 Area Code, call 800-891-RSVP

Remembering Princess Diana with A Cup of Tea on the RMS Queen Mary

Diana, the late-Princess of Wales, is in that small and select group of cultural icons whose senseless death made people stop in their tracks.  Seeing memorabilia and former dresses of hers at the "Diana: Legacy of a Princess" exhibit on the RMS Queen Mary, is a fitting and timely way to contemplate her life, her charitable works, and sons she left behind.  

I returned to the exhibit with my sister in-law, Peggy, last Wednesday.  We visited the tearoom, which I can only rave about, and revisited the exhibit that we had gone to see in mid-June.

Peggy is a royal gem in my family

  Since I have known her, Peggy has been an anglophile.  She and my older brother Kevin were engaged and married around the same time Diana and Charles were capturing the attention of romantics worldwide. She was a fan of the late-Princess Diana from the start.

The exhibit is chock full of memorabilia and even dresses of Diana's

When we learned that a royal exhibition, "Diana: Legacy of a Princess" was to open at the Queen Mary in Long Beach, we were both anxious to visit the exhibition and sample the treats in the tea room.  We planned a date to go, but Peggy and my big-brother Kevin extended a truly gracious invitation to go to the black tie gala evening and preview of the exhibit, the night before its opening.  Not having a chance to see everything that night, Sean Maddock, the Executive Director and CEO of the Queen Mary, invited us to come back and spend more time at the exhibit.
  

Scrumptious tea sandwiches are included in "The Windsor Tea" fare.  Having reviewed my share of tea rooms over the years, and not being a tea drinker, the food is what I usually what I focus on.  The tea fare on the RMS Queen Mary, is anything but your standard tea room food.  This was a treat for the taste buds and the tummy!     

Delicious scones with Devonshire clotted cream, lemon curd and locally homemade raspberry jam are, of course, included on the tiered stand.  The sandwiches included for the $32.00 per person price are most unique.  They set this tea fare apart from all others I have sampled and are of the sandwiches are quite memorable.
 

The tea sandwiches are as follows: 
Canary melon and prosciutto, with pomegranate cream, on artisan bread and fresh mint.
House cured Alaskan salmon and English cucumber, with aioli on rye bread, topped with caviar.  A personal favorite!
Shredded chicken and dried mango, tossed in a light curry aioli, atop wheat bread and A sweet shrimp with heart of palm and herb dressing on sourdough bread.

And another personal favorite; The deviled egg salad and micro dijon greens, atop pumpernickel bread.

Jesse knew just what we would each like...  Thanks, Jesse!

When Peggy and I sat down at our table, overlooking the water, I discovered Peggy is not a big tea drinker either!  We laughed and agreed our daughters, both avid tea drinkers, would know just what to order.  Fortunately, we had Jesse as our waiter, and I must say, he was able to guide us to the right tea for our individual tastes.  I had the spicy fruit tea and it suited the scones, sandwiches and desserts quite well.

A superb selection of desserts await your presence

The tiered server of petit fours boasted a chocolate lover's dream of flavors; black and white mocha cakes, petite eclairs, and raspberry chocolate tortes, alongside California fruit tartlets and lemon meringue tartlets.  All were excellent and not too mind-numbingly sweet, as many desserts can be.

I particularly enjoyed the setting.  The ship itself is a wonderful example of the of the 1930s Art Deco movement, and the tea room matches that elegantly.  There are none of the fussy florals or chintz that one tends to see in tea rooms.  The the understated U.K. Steelite tableware complements the room perfectly. 

Big brother Kevin, and his wife Peggy, took me to the Black Tie Gala as a birthday gift.  The event was the night before the opening of the exhibit.

Loved the 'Family Tree', though we'd not expected to see Camilla lurking about at this exhibit"Diana : Legacy of a Princess" -  Camilla is now a part of "Diana's Legacy"? I think not!

I am glad we took a lot of photos at the preview of the exhibit, as upon our return, we were not allowed to take any.

My big brother Kevin and wife Peggy- The empty case behind them now has a mannequin clothed in a 'Diana' dress

Though we had a short amount of time that first trip, we did take photos.

Who invited this 'party-crasher' back?

So many things to see in the exhibit, do plan plenty of time

Our black tie event table

   

Tea Etiquette  

Keep that “Pinky” finger curled! 

Many people think that one’s pinky finger should be extended when one is drinking from a cup.  This is not considered proper today by most manners experts.  It is what is commonly known as an “affectation”, learned in the 1400s & 1500s when the poor servants of the wealthy landowners and royalty in Europe, watched how their “Lords and Ladies” dined.  They believe the servants picked up the habit of keeping a finger extended while drinking and dining.  

Only the wealthy could afford salt and exotic spices, like nutmeg, at their tables. Foods were  eaten with one’s hands and a knife.  Utensils were not used at many tables then.  When dining, these wealthy people would keep the “pinky” finger extended when scooping up foods so that they could keep grease off of that finger.  That finger could then be dipped into the salt or spices needed to season their foods.  This kept grease and food particles out of the dishes holding the spices.

Others  think it started when tea and handle-less cups from China
became popular in Europe.  They believe tea drinkers would keep the pinky out because the cup was to hot to hold.  However, the Chinese have never extended fingers in that manner, nor have the Japanese, so why would the British?  The cups Chinese use, still do not have handles to this day.  These cups are held in the palm of the hand.  Old artwork from the time, proves this as well. 
 
Today, most experts agree;  The proper way to hold a tea cup is with  one or two fingers of the right hand put through the hole of the cup handle, while balancing the cup with your thumb on the top of the handle. Your other fingers should be curled beneath the handle.