Etiquette and the Recipe for a Garden Tea-Themed Bridal Shower

A stunning shower gift from the mother of the bride-to-be was  this bouquet brooch to be used at the rehearsal: Said Peggy, "Rather than the traditional ribbon bouquet that many people make at the shower for the bride’s wedding rehearsal, I made a brooch bouquet out of brooches that were mine and I asked both grandmothers to donate a brooch as well. I made this about a month before the shower as it was a little time consuming. I presented it to Kelly just before she opened her shower gifts. I also gave little history on the significance and tradition of giving a brooch to a bride. It turned out very pretty and we had it sitting out next to the guest book at the wedding."

The etiquette rule used to be that the bride's family members could attend the bridal showers, but not host them, nor plan them in anyway. Those rules went the way of June Cleaver ~ They left the building.

Peggy, with her daughter Kelly, posing at the shower

Nowadays, family members do participate and sometimes in a pinch play hostess. In many cases they are "blended family" members now too. They also offer space if they have the house large enough to get everyone together in one place at one time.  This is no easy trick in the 21st century!

Sadly, illness kept me from attending the bridal shower, that was given  last August, for my niece. I had really been looking forward to it and when I later saw the photos and read about the details, I knew I had to post something on it. Also, January is National "Hot Tea Month." Did you know?

A garden tea luncheon was my sister in-law Peggy's idea. Peggy was playing off of Kelly’s wedding theme of a "Royal Garden Wedding" and Kelly does love tea. So the theme was not a complete surprise for Kelly. Her mother told her about some of the details, but not everything. She did want a few things left as surprises for her the day of the shower.

Peggy said, "I used Archive Rentals for the flowers and the place settings. I picked out mixed-matched floral china, silverware and stemware. I had cards printed with “As rosemary is to the spirit, so lavender is to the soul” and attached a fresh cut sprig of rosemary and lavender and tucked that into the napkin at each place setting." Simply gorgeous!

The table decorations and centerpieces were birdcages arranged with bright multi-colored flowers (these were then reused at the post-wedding cocktail area, though decorated with the same flowers selected for the wedding). Peggy had hoped to give them away to guests to take home, but it seems the florist’s helpers packed them up after the cocktail hour, and they were unable to get to them by the end of the wedding.

One of the many tables set with the bird cage floral arrangements.

Peggy has a very spacious home, and though she was not playing hostess to the shower, as a few of Kelly's closest friends were, she had enough room to use garden animal statues around the room, (frogs, turtles, birds, rabbits, etc...) and then mylar flower balloons that grouped around the statues. Peggy's idea was to create a whimsical garden indoors. She also used a few mylar butterfly and ladybug balloons to complete the look.

Kelly sat under a garden arch and Peggy suspended a crown with a veil in the arch. At the foot of her chair was a frog prince statue.

Bride-to-be Kelly opening one of many gifts.

For activities, a photo booth was created with fun accessories to use in the photos and an Instagram sign with Kelly’s wedding # to post the pictures was also used.

           

Kelly and friends mugging it up for the Instagram Photo Booth. (L to R) are Penney, Alexa, Kelly, Brenna, Casey, and Jamie

Peggy also had a table to create one's own tea: She set bowls out of different teas, and using provided tea bags, guests could scoop tea and make their own blends.

Said Peggy, "We also provided labels and tea tins that I had found, to put them in. This was a big hit!"

Each guest received a china tea cup and saucer (each one was different) along with detailed instructions on how to brew the perfect cup of tea. Also a tea pouch personalized with autumn leaves and “Falling in love” Kelly & Casey 10/4/14

   

Of course, Peggy asked good friend, Chef Cathy McKnight, to help with the menu and she provided everything as a gift to Kelly.

The cake looked fabulous. Peggy found the beehive cake pan at Victoria Trading Company online. After showing it to Cathy, it was made as a lemon pound cake with a lemon liqueur glaze. Cathy added the adorable honey spoon with the bee on it!

The Menu:

Quiche Lorraine

Quiche bacon & cheddar in potato crust

Egg salad on brioche

Chicken salad with green apples on croissant

Watercress & butter tea sandwiches on squaw bread

Aloha salad with fresh pineapple, macadamia nuts and poppy seed dressing

Mini cheesecakes

Lemon bars

Heath crunch brownie bites

"Frog Prince" cookies

               

Also served were iced tea, lemonade, a signature cocktail and Kelly’s favorite- Irish Breakfast tea.

Princess Kelly

Yum! Chef Cathy McKnight poses with her daughter, Shannon Quiring and good friend, Cindy Beck.

Bridal Shower Etiquette of Yesteryear

“Allied to the afternoon tea are various phases of informal daytime entertaining. For example, there is the "shower" for a bride-elect ("linen," "culinary," or what you will). A friend of the bride-to-be invites a coterie of girl friends to meet the guest of honor, giving each girl time to provide some beautiful or useful gift, the presentations to be made with amusing ceremonies.”

“The "thimble bee," a favorite diversion of the quiet matronly set, each one bringing her own bit of needlework to while away an hour or so in pleasant conversation. One of the number may read aloud, with pauses for comment at will. The thimble bee is a modern version of the good old-fashioned "spend the afternoon and take tea." Both the shower and the thimble bee may be given in the forenoon, if preferred." From 1919, Agnes H. Morton's “Etiquette” 


A good many years ago a friend of a young woman who was about to be married decided that the only gift she could afford was too slight an offering to express the love and good wishes that she felt. Knowing that there were other friends who felt the same way she called them together and suggested that they present their gifts at the same time. Then and there the idea of the "shower" was born.

The custom has prevailed and in most instances to-day the shower has a special purpose, such as the linen shower or the kitchen shower or the book shower. It is a very charming way of presenting gifts that would seem too trifling if they were presented alone. Intimate friends of the bride are the guests at a shower. It is usually a very informal affair and nearly always a surprise to the bride. The gifts may be hidden in a Jack Horner pie, they may be wrapped in all sorts of odd packages, or they may be presented in any of a hundred and one attractive ways. Originality in this, as in all entertainments, is greatly to be desired.

The young lady who is honored with a shower thanks the guests verbally, and afterwards she may write each of them a little note expressing her gratitude. It is necessary to do so if the affair was an elaborate one and the gifts were expensive.” From 1924 Lillian Eichler's “Book of Etiquette / Volume I” 


“It is not uncommon for a bride-elect to receive a few engagement presents. (These are entirely apart from wedding presents which come later.) A small afternoon teacup and saucer used to be the typical engagement gift, but it has gone rather out of vogue, along with harlequin china in general. Engagement presents are usually personal trifles sent either by her own very intimate friends or by members of her fiancé's family as especial messages of welcome to hers—and as such are very charming. But any general fashion that necessitates giving engagement as well as wedding presents may well be looked upon with alarm by those who have only moderately filled pocketbooks!” From Emily Post's 1922, “Etiquette”

A Good Housekeeping Magazine article account of a 1907 bridal shower, courtesy of @GeroDynamics

             

Tying the Knot with Personal Style and Panache

Kelly's and Casey's first dance as a married couple.

Though the statistics tell us that fewer couples are getting married these days, and are merely cohabitating, my calendar and my Twitter feed paint a different picture; That tying the knot and weddings in general, are more popular than ever now. The most recent wedding I attended, was by far one of the most fun and the most unique weddings I have ever been too.

The Casey's groomsmen's waistcoats were ordered from the UK, as that was the only place my sister in-law and niece could find his family tartan.

Being a family member's wedding, my niece's to be exact, I thought it would be rather similar to my nephew's wedding back in March.  Both were at beautiful, beach locations (my nephew's wedding was at The Resort at Pelican Bay and my niece's at The St. Regis Monarch Beach Resort and both were fortunate to have unseasonably warm weather). Both had Irish and Italian traditions woven into the ceremonies and foods. Both my nephew and niece were marrying a "Casey." Both weddings were lovely. But that's where the similarities ended.

Kelly, with my big brother, at her engagement party and then dancing with her at the wedding reception.

Now, my older brother and I have always shared the same sense of humor. He shares it with his daughter as well. This wedding had Kelly's personality and sense of humor written all over it, along with her mother's excellent taste.

From the moment we arrived and were greeted with champagne, complimentary sunglasses (this was scheduled overlooking the beach at sunset) and took one look at the cover of the program, I knew this wedding would be fun. It was also a wedding at which we felt the hosts and bride and groom were actually honored by our "presence," (as the invitations generally read) and not simply our "presents," as so many weddings these days tend to make the guests feel.  

We mingled with family members we hadn't seen for ages, and by the time we sat down and looked through our programs, I knew we would remember this particular wedding very fondly.

Listed under "the cuteness" in the programs, were the ring bearer and flower girls. As one of the bridesmaids bowed out after becoming pregnant and realizing she'd have a 3 month old and wasn't quite sure what size she'd be for her dress, etc..., the bride's mother came up with the idea of having the new baby be a very young flower girl, with her "Flower Momma Escort" carrying her while escorting the next youngest flower girl who was only 4 years old. This was a first for me. Adorable!

The  "early drafts" of their "personalized vows" were funny and everyone was commenting on the Mad Libs... before, during and after the wedding ceremony.

The program's"early drafts" of their vows...

Exchanging the real vows (above) and the parents of the bride, Peggy and Kevin (below)

Not only was the reception dining room beautiful, but according to the enthusiastic St. Regis employee who showed us the way to the room, "Everything was brought in for this wedding! It's really something. Even the furniture in this lobby area was brought in! It is normally pretty empty, other than large potted plants." He then took us into the dining area, which was still being set up. He said he had wanted to see it after it was done, and he pointed to the two large family crests hanging on the wall. "Those were brought in specially for this wedding too. It's fantastic!" I had to agree. When I had lunch with my sister in-law and niece a few weeks back, they confirmed what I had been told about everything they had carefully chosen to suit them, right down to the furniture. 

The place settings were not only beautiful, but correctly done! Bejeweled menu cards corresponded to what each guest had picked for his or her main course: Red was for beef, a blue~green was for fish, etc... I loved the note of thanks to each guest at the table on the personalized place cards. Those were a nice touch!

Kelly and her mother, my sister in-law Peggy, went out and chose comfortable furniture to be brought in for those guests who wanted a break from the music or just wanted to relax peacefully after dinner, and away from the merriment. My brother and his wife had chosen seating for the eldest family members (the grandparents, great aunts, great uncles and such) so that they would not be sitting by any loud speakers blasting music at them, and so that they had easy access to and from the dining area. 

Large baskets with complimentary flip-flop sandals, in every imaginal size and color, were out in the lounge area after the dancing started, so that we could relieve ourselves of uncomfortable heels and dress shoes and really enjoy ourselves. "Alice in Wonderland" inspired treats and beer for guests to drink and nibble on, had tags hanging from them, reading "Drink Me" and "Eat Me" out in the lounge area too. Kelly and her mother, Peggy, really did think of everything to make their guests feel comfortable.

The Irish Ale was offered up with miniature cookies decorated with the Italian family crest.

But that was after a delicious dinner, along with entertainment by traditional Irish dancers, the traditional father daughter dance (my brother's speech and toast to the couple, was funny and touching... I really loved it) and a dance with the groom and his mother, the tossing of the bouquet and garter, a most unusual wedding cake of assorted goodies (Irish porter cake, Italian almond cookies, spumoni flavored macarons, chocolate, pistachio and cherry chocolate fountain and dipping bites), a taco bar, a cigar bar, and my personal favorite of the evening, grilled cheese sandwiches with thick cut bacon that were brought out by the wait staff to each table later in the evening. Those were delicious!

I asked Cliff, who often judges wines at local and international competitions, if he liked the wine choice and I got this goofy grin. I guessed that was a "yes."

With beautiful and carefully chosen floral arrangements, personal touches including nods to both the families' heritages, and every effort made to make sure the guests all were comfortable and had a good time, the O'Brian wedding experience is one that many a memory will treasure.

The bride and groom share a laugh before cutting the cake. I don't think I have ever seen my niece looking so happy and relaxed.

Dancing the night away.