Etiquette Classes at Graber Olive House

Team games, role playing and  prizes are used to develop vital social skills to fit into the world of today and tomorrow.

Our newest, ongoing etiquette courses, are starting again at the historic Graber Olive House

on February 12th!

Mixed-age, youth classes, ages 7 and up are from 12:30 to 2:30

Teen etiquette classes for ages 13 and up, are  from 3:00 to 5:00  

An $85.00 student fee will include foods to practice the dining skills taught each week, along with all necessary learning materials.

 Pre-registration is a must! 

Call 800 891-RSVP or 909 923-5650 

for registration and payment information.

We are pleased to introduce our new instructor, Barbara Becka

Our 3, two-hour session etiquette courses cover...
• Basic Manners
• Introductions & Responses
• Dining Skills and
   Table Manners with Foods to Practice 
• Manners for Home & Abroad 

• Cultural Diversity
• Respect for Others

• Deflecting Peer Pressure
• Writing Notes of Thanks
• Making Eye Contact
• Developing Great Posture
• Good Grooming
• Tech and Social Media Etiquette
• Texts & Cell Phone Etiquette
• Video Gaming Manners & More! 

The Graber Olive House is located at 315 East Fourth Street, Ontario, California 909 983-1761

Restaurant Table Manners and Tykes

When these rules were first written...

Cellphones in restaurants? "Hang on... Grandma's talking." "Yes, Grandma? What? It's not good manners to talk on my cellphone in the restaurant? Okay. I'll just text instead."

This was not only inconceivable, but unthinkable...

Etiquette and No Chicken Salad, Please

Unless, of course, the Cesar Salad is better!

When I saw the advertisement above for the first time, featuring a newly published, two-volume book of etiquette from the early 1900s, I smiled. I often use a story that involves my grandmother and chicken salad when talking about restaurant etiquette with my students. I share the story with kids, young adults and adults alike. I use it to illustrate a point about good manners when invited out to eat, and how to look for cues and clues of what to do in different situations when one is a guest.

Years ago my mother called to say that my grandmother, her mother, wanted to take all of the ladies in the family to lunch in celebration of the upcoming Mother's Day. When I was growing up, we frequently had seasonal "Ladies' Lunches" at one of my aunts' homes, or in our home. I even hosted a few after getting married and starting my new family. This was the first time a restaurant was suggested, and my mother said that grandma was insisting on paying for everyone's lunch.

My grandmother was on a fixed income after my grandfather passed away. It was very small, so I immediately questioned the generous offer.  My mother told me that she and her sisters had both pointed that fact out to their mother, but grandma was insistent. She also chose the restaurant she wanted to take us to, and it was not known for its low prices.

When we arrived at the restaurant and were seated at our table, we were handed our menus. Within a nano-second, one of our party (either oblivious to grandma's financial situation or just sharing her enthusiasm for her favorite dish) said, "Ooooh.... they have the best prime rib here!" while opening her menu. 

Before I could nudge her under the table and give her a look usually reserved for my children and students, my grandmother quickly closed her menu, the faux leather menu holder practically snapping everyone to attention. "I think we should all have the Chicken Salad," she said. The guest itching for the prime rib seemed to deflate right before my eyes and closed her menu along with everyone else at the table. Everyone at the table except for me.

Third from right, standing next to my grandmother, in a 1980 snap after one of our seasonal lunches.

I was never a fan of Chicken Salad, but I certainly knew a cue from a hostess when I heard one.  I just happened to have the menu open to the page with the featured luncheon salads. I quickly looked down at the price of the Chicken Salad. Way back then it was $6.95, so I needed to work within that "price point." I spotted a Cesar Salad for $5.95, and said, "You know... I think I'd like the Cesar Salad instead. As I recall it is fairly good here." 

Grandma's eyes got big and looking a bit ruffled, she quickly reopened her menu. She spotted the salad's lower price, and said very enthusiastically, "That is a good choice!" Everyone else was reopening their menus, and perusing the salads, while I quietly closed mine.

The luncheon turned out to be a fun affair, with all of us enjoying our salads and chatting away about how we needed to get together more often. I am not sure how many in our party wound up with the suggested Chicken Salad, but the bill was rather low and we convinced grandma to at least allow us to each chip in a small amount for the tip. There was also a surprise dessert that arrived at the table for each of us. No one confessed to ordering it, but I have always had my suspicions.

We haven't had a "Ladies Luncheon" in several years now, what with grandma gone since 1999, all of us spread out in several states, and some of us younger ladies even becoming grandmas ourselves. I will always have sweet memories of the luncheons though, and even have a great instructional tale for my etiquette students and future generations to learn from, about reading and following a host's or hostess' cues.

New Etiquette Classes in So. California

Etiquette Classes in the Inland Empire Start September 20th!

The RSVP Institute of Etiquette continues to offer ongoing, coed etiquette classes, at the historic Graber Olive House in Ontario, with new classes starting September 20th!
Every student is encouraged to develop the social skills vitally needed for smooth sailing throughout life.

The youth classes for ages 6 to 16, will be held every Sunday afternoon, 
from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. 

Teen and kid approved foods are served to help with utensil manners!

The $75.00 per student fee, includes foods to practice dining skills with and all necessary learning materials! Now in our 26th year, we are always adding new  subjects and foods to practice dining skills  that are taught. 

Each student receives weekly session handouts in order to practice the lessons they are taught in our classes, when they are at home and at school. 

Role modeling, games and foods all help to practice the skills and lessons taught

The three, 2-hour session, courses cover: 

• Basic Social Graces 
• Introductions and Greetings
• Dining Skills
• Table Manners  
• Manners for Home and Abroad
• Cultural Diversity
• Respect for Others, 
• Deflecting Peer Pressure
• Responding to RSVPs
• Notes of Thanks
• Social Media Manners
• Digital Manners
• Making Eye Contact 
• Developing Great Posture
• Good Grooming 

We love getting thanked by our students!

The Graber Olive House is located at 

315 East Fourth Street, Ontario, CA 91764

909 983-1761

Questions? Contact Maura J. Graber at

rsvpinstitute@gmail.com for a registration form, 

or call The RSVP Institute of Etiquette 

at 

800-891-RSVP or 909 923-5650

Payments by Check, Cash or PayPal are accepted

Maura J. Graber – Teaching etiquette since 1990

Remembering Demita Usher

Demita Usher, aka “Brown Betty”

This is the hardest blog post I have ever written. I lost a wonderful friend over the past weekend. Demita Usher died of congestive heart failure. She had not been ill. A blood clot was the culprit. My husband and I knew exactly what was going on when I received a text from Demita, apologizing and explaining why she would not be able to teach a class with me the next day.

She sent a text that she didn't have the energy to walk to and from another room in her apartment, and she was having problems breathing. She texted that her brother was going to take her to the ER when he got off work. I texted back that it could be her heart. She needed to go to the hospital immediately.

I didn't like to continually email and text, but Demita did. I would rather talk on the phone. But then again, we would be on for hours, so emailing and texting it was… 

I called Cliff. He and I both suspected congestive heart failure as his mother had been hospitalized for it in March of 2013. My 98 year old mother in-law lived for another year and 9 months. She should still be here too. I am emotionally devastated.

I have no idea what we were discussing in that etiquette class training session, but her smile is what I will miss the most. 

We kept exchanging texts. Her brother hadn't taken her yet. I wish I had called her, or 911, for her. I regret not doing that. The last texts I received from her was that she had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure and “I'll keep you posted.” The last text was at 11:40 p.m. She died a few hours later.

The Demita I knew was always healthy, happy and enthusiastic about what we did together. She helped take care of me when I was sick through the spring, summer and fall of 2013. She would come and stay for days at a time, helping out when Cliff wasn't here and walking the dog for me. She was here for us each subsequent time I was hospitalized over the last 2 years. She took over my classes when I couldn't teach them, and I told her I wanted to eventually turn my business over to her.

Demita took pleasure in teaching etiquette, as much as I do, if not more. 

When she was passionate about something, Demita committed 200% to whatever it was; teaching etiquette, writing, history, vintage clothing, racial issues... She was committed to our friendship and I appreciated her more than she will ever know.

Demita wrote for several online publications, many times as “Brown Betty”

In May of 2011, I had my first conversation with Demita. She had called about my Etiquette Instructor training program. We spoke for 3 hours over the phone. I came downstairs where my husband and son had stopped waiting for me to watch a movie with them. “You were on a business call for 3 hours?” I was excited... “I know! I just had the most incredible conversation with someone who feels exactly the same way I do about etiquette. It was like talking to a twin!”

Demita once told me early on in our friendship, that she had very few photos of herself when she was younger. So I went to work sleuthing and found two high school photos of her. She was as shocked as she was pleased. 

Demita was up for anything and let nothing hold her back. She wrote continually, and researched historical etiquette works probably as much as me, always asking for tips. Before we met, she once flew to London to take hat-making classes with the former milliner to the late-Queen Mum and royal family. 

I remember receiving a selfie of Demita in a cowboy hat, standing with Jon Voight at a Western-themed charity event. I also received this, again in a cowboy hat, though I have no idea where she was or what she was recording. Demita was always signing up to volunteer for non-profit organizations.

Demita volunteered for numerous non-profits, and was continually sending me selfies from charity events she was working at.

Practicing her royal wave? Demita with a fellow contestant when she became the 2007 Ms. California. 

She had entered the "Queen of Queens" pageant and was the 2007 Ms. California. She was interested in mentoring younger pageant contestants.

Much of my family is stunned and saddened by her death as well. Here she is with my brother in-law Vince, my sister Barbara and me at CSUF's wine event/fund-raiser in August 2013. Cliff was taking the photo. 

She guest blogged for me, even though I continued to prompt her to “keep digging for more information.” She volunteered for anyone that needed her. I was continually getting photos texted to me of herself at different events.

Don't let that glamour fool you... I discovered Demita was a “secret nerd” when she bought a “Captain Kirk vs Captain Picard” t-shirt. She said it was for a “friend,” but after she mysteriously started “covering” and writing columns about Cosplay, I told her I had figured out her secret. She simply turned to me and beamed.

Demita and I swapped books and videos continually. I still have one of her favorites with me. It's titled “Forgotten Elegance: The Art, Artifacts, and Peculiar History of Victorian and Edwardian Entertaining in America” By the books she enjoyed the most, I always felt Demita was born too late, as if she belonged in another era. Now I know, she is gone much too soon.

Rest in peace, my dear friend. You will never be forgotten by those whose lives you touched! 

Etiquette Classes in the Inland Empire

The RSVP Institute of Etiquette continues to offer ongoing, coed etiquette classes, at the historic Graber Olive House in Ontario, with new classes starting June 14th!

Every student is encouraged to develop the social skills needed for smooth sailing throughout life!

Teen and kid approved foods are served to help with utensil manners!

The youth classes for ages 6 and up through the teens, are held every Sunday, 

from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. 

The $75.00 per student fee, includes foods to practice dining skills with and all necessary learning materials!

      

Each student receives weekly session handouts to practice lessons taught when at home. The three, 2-hour session Etiquette 

Courses cover: 

Basic Manners 

Introductions and Responses, 

Dining Skills & Table Manners 
(w/foods to practice dining skills), 

Manners for Home and Abroad, 
Cultural Diversity, Respect for Others, 

Deflecting Peer Pressure, Tech Etiquette, 

Notes of Thanks,  

Social Media Manners, Cell Phone Manners, Text Manners,  

Making Eye Contact, Developing Great Posture and Good Grooming  

We love getting thanked by our students!

The Graber Olive House is located at 

315 East Fourth Street, Ontario, CA 91764

909 983-1761

Questions? Contact Maura J. Graber at

Email rsvpinstitute@gmail.com for a registration form, 

Or call The RSVP Institute of Etiquette 

at 

800-891-RSVP or 909 923-5650 

Payment by Check, Cash or PayPal is accepted

                                         

Maura J. Graber, Teaching etiquette since 1990

On Etiquette and Acting Civilized

Etiquette: It's not just about which fork to use.
(Above~ Beautiful, antique French melon forks)

Etiquette is, in point of fact, nothing more nor less than the law, written and unwritten, which regulates the society of civilized people, distinguishing them from the communities of barbarous tribes, whose lives are hard and their manners still harder. 

It is to a well disciplined and refined mind the fundamental principle of action in all intercourse with society, and they are interested in maintaining it in its integrity, and bound to heed and obey its simplest as well as more formal precepts. 

The real law-giver is the general convenience, speaking with authority and the experience of many years; and it will be found that even in those cases, where the meaning of its rules may be somewhat obscure at first sight, there is an underlying reason for the regulation laid down. by Sarah Annie Frost, 1869